Ryan Air--An Experience

Last week my friend Rita and I went on a three day jaunt to Dublin. I had never been there or any other place in Ireland so among other things this was a new stamp in my passport. But....Dublin did not impress me all that much so hope to get to other parts some day. I talked with two women who had just completed a two week small tour in a 4-wheel drive which sounds very appealing--will check it out when home.

This post, however, is about the the riot of flying Ryan Air, a brand new experience and one which provided some serious amusements. I now believe that it is entirely possible that the rumor of charging to use the bathrooms may well blossom into reality.

Riding (much more appropriate than calling it flying) with Ryan Air is somewhat a cross between the carnival barker section of the county fair and crowding into the local ballpark with venders pushing all kinds of wares.

But first is the packing and preparations--one carry on of 10 kgs. At this point for those of us from the US, the internet comes in handy to find out just what that equates to in pounds--22--and, the one carry on is for real. No additional purse, computer, briefcase etc. All must fit into the one suitcase.

Leaving from Italy wasn't a problem as the Italian people weren't all that concerned (surprise). All kinds of second pieces were carried on. But...returning from Dublin was an altogether different matter. People were busy trying to cram in all kinds of things before being allowed down the stairs. Then, after packing away the no-no items, they carried down armfuls of displaced clothing which was OK and took up much more bin space. Go figure! My sin was a little cross body bag for my passport and a few euro.

Moving on..
All the bins are covered with advertisements, much like the subway walls.





Rita did see a pair of shoes she thought cute but they wern't sold on-board, which as I write more will surprise you.

The plane is a model of efficiency. There are no seat pockets in front of you which eliminates the need to clean between flights. Seats do not recline, which is something many people would applaud. This way more seats can be installed. The seat in front of you is used as a billboard telling what to do in the event of an emergency. I actually think this is a good idea...chalk one up for Mr. Ryan or whomever.





Within minutes of taking off, the show begins. With a second loudspeaker reminder that smoking is not allowed, whereby rebringing it to the attention of the nicotine club, there is an announcement that for those with a craving the flight attendants will be selling packages of smokeless cigarettes--which one attendent holds up and waves. Rita and I noticed that there must not be a thriving market for these as the attendent, after walking the length of the plane, returned with the same number of boxes in hand.





Next came the food cart with delectable goodies to tempt those with strong stomachs and parents of children who have the "I wants." The people across from us bought €42 worth of Chef Ryan goodies. I neglected to get a picture this time. Sorry.

Following the food cart, came the trash cart; again so that no clean up crew would be needed.

When all that cleared out, came the announcement for Ryanair scratch off lottery tickets--fanned and waved as the attendent sashyed down the aisle. Not sure how many of these were sold or if the pay-out would be immediate.





Somehow in the midst of all this, the ruddy faced, elderly Irish man next to me managed to sleep, after his can of stout. Rita, unsuccessfully, tried to sleep but the loudspeaker wasn't over--ever.

Now was time for another run through with the beverage and trash carts which almost collided with the irrestible merchandise cart. Not sure what all was on it but a lot. I suspect there was a list in the booklet passed out but, truthfully, I neglected to look as I was busy taking pictures.





I think there was another food trolley passby before the magazine pick up and final trash service.

Minutes before landing people are still in the aisle waiting for the toilet. Finally, the man next to me wakes up and I notice he is crossing his fingers as we begin descent. As he flies Ryan frequently, I found this a little alarming.

If Ryanair flight lands on time, there is one final, adorable, flourish. Bugles blare followed by the recording "another on-time flight with Ryan."

The efficiency of the efficiences were very noticeable on our return flight. As we walked down the stairs to board, the arriving passengers were disembarking. Them off--us on. No clean up crew needed. Amazing process!



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