Innocence Stolen

Today is serious. It is for parents and grandparents and all who have young children enriching their lives. I write and share as a means of warning each of you to remain vigilant at all times.

Our little ones are such vulnerable creatures and in just a moment can have their precious, sweet minds assaulted and maimed. It happens with such ease even when we believe that we cushion and hedge them within walls of protection. They are growing up in a “virtual” world that is beyond that which even the young parents experienced—let alone the one that this gramma-mom (Casey’s newest term) knew.

Last week when we were visiting treasured friends on the lovely North Shore of Oahu, friend Ann asked if I worried about Casey using the computer. I said that at this point I didn’t as he isn’t on it often and then basically only to use the computer functions rather than the internet—except when we are doing his blog entries. Since our computers are in common rooms—my office and the family room—I am aware when he is on it and pay attention to what he is doing. He has neither a computer nor a TV in his room, much to his dismay. We even shamefully deprive him of his own cell phone.

So, I was surprised to receive a difficult call from friend Ann telling me that Casey had accessed pornographic websites on her computer. I was stunned, dismayed and, the more I learned, heartbroken to know that his precious, sweet mind had been so corrupted. Corrupted by a power over which he was rather powerless.

As it turns out, his intentions were somewhat predictably normal for a 9 year old boy’s mind—maybe not what we want them to be, but normal. He had put in a search about naked ladies. Now, I remember as a young girl, being fascinated by bare-breasted women in the National Geographic. Later generations would take quick peeks at the shocking Playboy covers. Bodies are interesting and mysterious to children.

But—the big but—today is different, scarier and dangerous. Having no idea what he was getting into, Casey entered the ugly, staggeringly evil world of grotesque pornography. Fortunately, Ann told us and so we have been able to talk with him, dry his tears and comfort the shame he felt—and then we cried and prayed that God would erase the harm.

I write this not to make Casey public but to tell people to be super vigilant and always aware—it is easy to become complacent when we know the goodness of our children and thus forget that they are just that—children, with inquiring minds and an abundance of curiosity in a world that is not child-friendly.

What are we going to do? Right now we will limit his internet access to the AOL Kid program where we control what is available and allowed. When he needs to do more extensive research for school assignments, we will do it in tandem—which has already been our practice. I would like to say that I am confident that he has “learned a lesson”—I believe that he has but I also wonder if now that the curiosity has been fed, there will be temptation. I pray each night that this fear is groundless and that God will surround Casey with a shield of protection and an abhorrence of what he has learned is out there. I want his innocence to return for a few more years.